Tuesday, March 24, 2009

The illusion of the supermom

I was recently reading a thread on an online parenting forum I frequent and the original poster had asked a question along the lines of wanting to know if Mom's who had it all together would share their secret. I had to laugh...WTF! Nobody, has it all together. I don't care who you are. You might think that you do...and you might be coming pretty darn close, but it's all an illusion. I don't say this to be cruel or disillusion those of you who are laboring under a misapprehension, but whenever there's someone besides yourself that you're responsible for you will constantly be playing a game of catch up. Don't get me wrong, I'm a good mom...maybe even a great one, and I know that you are too, but let's face it, isn't every day a new adventure into the unknown? I mean no amount of planning or scheduling will prepare me for dd's midnight asthma attack or ds #3 deciding not to get out of the car in the carpool line. I mean I was prepared. I give that girl her meds every day, I got him to school on time...what's this,You can't breath, you don't want to go to school?. Leave it to them to throw a wrench in my whole plan. You've probably never met a more organized or scheduled person than me. I live for lists. I mean I have got it together...and yet, I don't. Sometimes I fantasize about those golden days when it was just me, the single girl...footloose and fancy free and then I wake up.
My point is that it's really okay. I don't think the goal of motherhood is to be a supermom. I mean even superman spent his fair share living as Clark Kent. The goal should be to do the best you can. To help the little ones in your charge become incredible people. That's doesn't mean you have to be perfect or should even expect to be. I think we as mothers set ourselves up with these unattainable standards. I'm just saying relax, you're doing great...even if you're no supermom.


Chi-Chi, The Original Wombman said...

Sabrina, you ain't never told a lie! I am not supermom or superwoman and I'm not trying to be! Calling yourself a super anything just sets up these ridiculously high expectations. And when you can't meet them, it often leads to depression. I do the best that I can every day and that's that. I have it as much together as possible. You're so right . . .with kids, you can't predict anything. Most days I'm up before the sun comes up and I think I'm going to have some fabulous meditation time and I'm going to work out for a whole hour. In walks a coughing, feverish, congested baby who just needs some Mama love. I miss the single girl "golden days" at those times too but . . . it's pretty cool being a mom too. Great post! :)

BellaPepper said...

I think the only way to really be a "supermom" is to care about your children more then you do yourself and everything else either falls into place or it just doesn't matter.